I love autumn. There is just something about the changing colours that brings me joy. It also helps that it’s not boiling hot and I am able to walk around and not sweat the minute I walk out in the morning. I’m all for that sweater weather – the autumn aesthetic. Not to mention coffee, crisp mornings, long nights.
The year is moving on as it always does. I want to say something about how it’s moving so quickly but I’ve been doing a lot of introspective thinking over the past month. I’ve always had a lot going on in my noggin. For the most part I manage it quite well. All the doubts, the questions, the quirks…
I feel more comfortable the older I get and I guess that’s a good thing. The years keep passing and people come and go in my life and I’m okay with that. (Most of the time.) There are still moments where I panic and dwell on the “what ifs” but I am learning ways to remove myself from that cycle though it isn’t easy. It’s also something that I don’t talk about as openly as I probably should.
Still, there are so many things that I still have on my bucket list. Things that I don’t talk about much because I, like so many others, fear what others will think or say or tell me to do. Fear, I guess, is still a central part in everyone’s life. I told my students that being afraid to fail can have long reaching consequences and that is something I am still learning. It’s so easy in this time of social media to feel FOMO – fear of missing out. There is so much that we want to do, ‘have’ to do, and ‘need’ to do.
I still want to live in another country again. And travel – there are so many places still left to go and adventures to have. I finally visited Melbourne, Australia. I’m off to California again for San Diego Comic Con again. Still, I feel like something is missing or I’m missing out on something. Whether social media is truly to blame I don’t know. I do know that I can’t trust the highlight reel of someone’s life. Which is what instagram has the tendency to be.
One aspect where I’ve started to really focus on is my writing. Hence, the blog post today. I’ve set myself a goal of 80, 000 words by the end of this year. (Preferably sooner but it’s small steps right…write?) I’ve been watching a lot of productivity vloggers such as Lavandaire and Thomas Frank. This has helped me start to focus on what I really want for and from my life. Writing has always been a draw card for me and, as I look around my room and see the myriad of notebooks, half sketched ideas, post it notes and half a dozen pens I can see that I’m not as productive as I need to be if I want to reach that 80, 000 words.
My goal is relatively simple and part of it is setting aside time to get stuff done. I’m using my bullet journal but I’m also using a mini reward system. If I get 1000 words done per day then I am allowed to watch an episode of a show I’m watching, or play some video games, or do something for me.
The other thing I am doing is giving myself a curfew if I go into school during the weekend. So far I’m five weeks in and I’ve only broken curfew once. It’s tough because I love teaching but I have let it consume me for a significant portion of my adult life.
I turn the question to you, dear readers, what are your goals? How are you doing? I hope you realise how important you are in this world.