What the heck happened…?

So I was going to regularly update this blog but, unfortunately, my gallbladder had other ideas.

On Good Friday, when I had a glorious long weekend spread out in front of me, a mysterious pain started in. At the time I thought it was just indigestion but the pain steadily worsened until I decided that I should probably get it checked out. I drive myself to the ED (Emergency Department) and wait to see the on call doctor.

By this time I’m having chest pains and lower back pains and I’m feeling bouts of nausea – so a great way to spend my Monday off. (Yes I’d had the pain for nearly four days before going to check it out…I’m strange like that…)

The doctor looks at me and takes some vitals and suggests gallstones which means I have to go back to ED and get semi admitted so they can administer pain relief that’s a little stronger than panadol. I get a few needles shoved in and then get some blood taken followed by tramadol and buscapan (excuse spelling…) plus a tonne of paracetamol and ibuprofen. Then I get sent home and told to keep on a low fat diet. (Which is fun considering I’m also gluten free due to IBS … all the stomach problems.)

I am told to make an appointment with my regular doctor to get a surgical appointment as well.

Tuesday is also a day off for teachers due to where Easter fell so I’m resting (or trying to because the pain hasn’t gotten any better) when I get the call to go for an ultrasound which also means that I’m not allowed to eat for a few hours.

The ultrasound confirms gallstones and I have to go back to ED (though I’m not sure why) where I get given a prescription for a range of painkillers on top of the range I already have and am told just to manage it until I can see my doctor. By this time it’s five in the afternoon and I haven’t been able to eat since nine that morning. I’m tired, cranky, in pain and a little scared because the pain hasn’t gotten better, in fact, it’s gotten steadily worse.

I call in my relief for Wednesday because I know I won’t be able to function at school like this and manage to get an appointment almost first thing on Wednesday morning. By this time the pain really hasn’t subsided and I’m unable to get comfortable but I also don’t want to bother people. My doctor (who is freaking amazing by the way!) takes one look and basically sends off for a surgical referral and then tells me to ignore the second prescription and gives me one to help with the nausea I get with tramadol and send me home. She does tell me if I feel worse to go straight back to the ED.

Cue ten o’clock on the Wednesday night where I’ve tried to go to bed. The pain is really bad and I take my dose of tramadol and the anti nausea. It is over an hour later that I realise I’ve been crying for at least half that time. I can’t lie down and I can’t sit up so I start pacing and focusing on my breathing. I also decide to take some ibuprofen and paracetamol as well.

Cue 1.45am and I am still in pain and still crying. I realise that this isn’t right and I drive myself to the ED. (I could have woken my border but didn’t want to disturb her.) Mind you I’m crying the entire way because I’m in pain and I’m angry at myself for being in pain.

I get into the ED and I am crying and apologising for being a pain and disturbing them in the middle of the night. (I know…I’m a numpty). They admit me straight away and then have to deal with an emergency before being able to get me some concentrated pain relief. Then I was admitted to the surgical ward.

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Me wasting time in cupcakes pjs and doodling

Basically I spend the next couple of days in hospital on saline and IV antibiotics. Then released. I’m still in a little bit of pain but no where near as bad as it was on the Wednesday/Thursday.

I then go back to school for the final two weeks before the April break though I kinda rushed it and ended up having to drive home early for a few days.

That happened almost a month ago and now I am waiting for the surgery date so they can remove my gallbladder. I had the appointment with the anaesthetist and will hear about the surgery very shortly. Needless to say I haven’t felt like blogging for some time due to feeling incredibly exhausted.

Now my only worry is if the surgery is in the first week back at school because I really hate writing relief…(in reality I hate missing school because I really enjoy my job…and the students I have a funny, and strange, a weird, and kind, and just great humans who are still trying to recognise their potential.)

This comic is a happy thing for me Gallbladder’s last day.

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Me trying my first coffee in a month … it didn’t go down well…

I’m Not a Hugger…

I’m an awkward person – I’m also a bit of a dork. When these powers combine you get someone who never knows quite how to act in most given situations. This often results in me somehow saying or doing something that is not always considered appropriate – like somehow directing a conversation to poop…why poop? I really don’t know. And I don’t do it to be disgusting or anything it just happens. Like the time I attempted to “flirt” with someone and brought up a specific scene in a film called Deliverance. (You know which scene…) It’s a great film but it’s not exactly the kind of film that you talk about when you are trying to create a bond, if you follow my drift. Or the time I talked about… well, I won’t go into detail…

What I’m trying to explain is I’m not always the best as social interactions or cues – often misreading a situation or standing so far back that the perks of being a wallflower (pun intended) aren’t even perks. Don’t get me wrong, I love going out and hanging out with friends but that’s because I have a great group of people who kinda understand my oddities. And these great people have, sometimes, stepped in and explained to people that I’m not really a (insert word) kind of a person.

Which brings me to the title of this blog. I’m not a hugger. In certain situations I am but, in general, I am not a hugger of people I have just met or even relatives really. The exception being my nieces or other young cousins…I mean, I will hug people but it’s not my preferred method of interaction when first meeting someone or even seeing someone after a break. I’m also not much of a hand shaker either. I don’t think it has anything to do with germs it’s just something that I’ve never been a fan of. Hugging people has always just seemed awkward to me – or I seem awkward to hugging. People lean in and squeeze you and I am suddenly in someone’s personal space and they are in mine. And, in a way, I guess I could describe it as a form of sensory overload and uncomfortableness. I never know what to do with my arms because often I realise too late as to what is happening and my arms are trapped at my sides…

It’s strange as I can talk to anyone – I ramble on and have been told I can talk the ears off a/n (insert animal). I have no worries about talking to people but the conversation will be erratic and, without fail, I will jump from topic to topic – a master of weaving a tale and making tenuous connections as well as directing a conversation away from something that I don’t understand or don’t particularly want to talk about. I am verbose and articulate but hugs and handshakes from most people make me super uncomfortable. So – yeah – that’s a thing…not enough of a thing to make it a challenge or resolution – I’m not going to go around and randomly hug people that I don’t know. But it is something I’ve noticed about myself over the years…so, are you a hugger? (Hopefully not a face hugger…)

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Current Obsession: Making a Murderer on Netflix. I maybe a little late on this train but I started watching this the other night. Only a couple of episodes in but already hooked.

Currently Reading: The Chimes by Anna Smaill – recommended by a good friend.

Current Earworm: “Alone” by Selah Sue

Current Game: Still playing Alice The Madness Returns

Peace and pancakes… mmm pancakes…

xJaime